disappointing people has always been my weakness. I have in the past gone to some pretty extreme limits to not bring about disappointment. Even the thought of disappointing someone makes me sick to my stomach. Just sitting here writing this is putting me on edge. I am not sure where this rooted from or why I have this very inconvenient quality. But its part of who I am. Yes, I obviously realize that there are times in life where disappointment is inevitable but when it comes down to it I would rather disappoint myself than another person. Insane? Ridiculous? maybe. but that's me.
Anyways recently I am realizing that as I get older, disappointment is more abundant and harder to avoid. I have found myself spinning in circles trying to dilute feelings and soften actions to avoid that gut wrenching disappointment. obviously that is not a good way to be living life.
So one of my many new years resolutions: conquer the fear of disappointment. wish me luck
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