Thursday, September 24, 2009

Still holding on

So I just spent literally the last 8 hours straight on studying my head off and i need a break... thus the blogging begins :-)


Friends are amazing. Last night was the first FISH meeting and it made me realize once again how much I love my friends. The three of us........ all had crazy insane weeks and busy schedules ( some of us more than others) but we all took the time to be there and it kinda brought us back to where it all began. I think as time passes we kinda forget ( or i least i do) how our relationship sprouted, where it all rooted from. Our faith. That is where it all began and that really is the glue to our friendship. No matter where our lives take us we always have that foundation to come back to. Even though time gets the best of us and we dont all see each other as much as we may like... when we do see each nothing has changed. I mean yes our lives have went in different directions but we are still us. Somehow even though our lives are taking different roads, we still have sight of each other in the rear view mirror. Anyways something about the three of us being back there and talking about God again really got me reminiscing. I am so thankful for not only them, but also all for the rest of you guys! I love yousss! When we all left last night, we all went as Beth said, " in awkward different directions." It kinda really hit me hard that we are all living our own different lives now, but at the same time we will still always have time for each other (even "Mr. IU" ) . We will always still have time for those heart to hearts and or even quick phone calls. Because when it comes down to it, we are still Kairos kids <3


Friday, September 18, 2009

wake up call

God is good! so i made a complete 180 from last night and realized a few things. Life is short and there is so much more important things worth stressin about. School is exactly that... school. It is supposed to educate us to go out into the real world. Anyway after a few deep heart to hearts tonight i realized that i have so much in my life right now and if school is the only thing that has got me down than i am doing pretty darn well.
God has his ways of getting out attentions... and he sure got mine<3

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

I need to breathe.

UGHHHHH!!!! Soo i cant believe i said that i actually missed all this work! I am sooo stressed right now its pretty much not even funny. I really think i took too much on this semester. I hate telling people no, its kinda problem. I just feel like i cant get ahead and i hate it! Its like the 3rd week and i already feel like i am burning out.... this cant be good.
When it comes down to it... i do this to myself. I am a perfectionist. I want to be perfect at everything... as impossible as it is. So when it comes to school... yeah i know that i can still become a nurse if i graduate with a 3.5 ... but i want that 4.0. With clubs... yeah i know i can just sit back and come to meetings... but No i have to take charge of something and get hardcore involved. With Work, i could just go the hours i have scheduled but no... if i dont finish what i am working on.. i stay and get it done. With the Newman center, i could just sign up for some things and tell them im too busy to do things but there is something veryyy hard about saying no to a priest. haha UGHH i just have taken on too much and i feel like i am drowning. I know that in the end everything will work out and i just have to keep everything in perspective. I just promised myself that i wouldnt do this whole "getting crazy stressed out thing" this year. haha who was i kidding!
Well im gonna go take a nice hot shower and hopefully calm down a bit :-/

Sunday, September 13, 2009

the power of a photograph

Ok so i should really be doing homework right now.... but im distracted by a picture. Some of my lovely friends found a picture of me from about 7 years ago. It was from 7th grade, during that awkward time in my life... you know those embarrassing stages that all of us go through. Braces, gawky, clothing that just doesnt fit right... we have all been there. Fun times right? Well I am just sitting here looking at this picture and cracking up. Its so hard to believe that I am still that girl. Behind those obnoxious earrings and crazy hair, its still me. I may have different thoughts, dreams, fears, passions... but its still the same me thinking them all. Im still her and she is still me.
So much has changed though. I remember being that age and so full of wonder and awe at the world. Everything seemed so big and so out of reach at the same time. I remember being confused about what i wanted to do with my life. Confused about who my friends were. Confused about who God was and what he wanted from me. Confused about life pretty much. I was still trying to figure everything out. Dont get me wrong, i am no where near completely figuring everything out now but I am an tiny bit closer.
Looking back i remember i had no idea who I was and I was pretty much trying on a different hat everyday for size. Friends popped in and out of my life and the ones that stayed i honestly didnt like that much. They were into things that i just wasnt a fan of then, and im still not a fan of now. I was pretty much just a wanderer. I was just trying to find my place where i fit in this crazy mixed up world. I was so naive. I miss that. I miss thinking that everyone on this earth was either good or bad. I miss thinking that as long as you do good in school you will be ok. I miss thinking that a hug could cure everything. I miss thinking that my parents could fix anything and take away any pain.
Things were different. Things were simpler though. I didnt have to worry about my future just yet... i just had to make it to the 8th grade. I didnt have to worry about being on my own or looking after myself... i just had to listen to my mom. Mom had all the answers. I remember thinking that she was the smartest person in the world( she still is to me) and whatever she said was the right way. I now know that there can be more than 1 right way... i hate that. I hate that instead of just right and wrong there are some gray areas now.
I miss that little girl, but It still shocks me at how far i came. Would i approve of me? When this picture was taken my dreams were so different from where they are now. I would prob laugh if someone told me then that I would be studying to become a nurse. I honestly think that I would have thought that I wouldnt have it in me. There are days im still not sure... but I am certain that this is what I am supposed to do. I used to want to become a writer or a librarian. I loved to read, sadly a love that has been pushed aside to make room for all my other things in my life. I used to be so shy. I hated meeting new people. I remember freaking out at events where i didnt know anyone. Now i strive myself on inviting new people into my life and i embrace any chance i get to do it. People used to pretty much scare me. I didnt like to get to know them... now people intrigue me to no end. I love getting to a know a person below the surface and im pretty much in love with heart to hearts. I used to judge everyone i met and most of the time i stood by that preconceived notion. I have realized now that pretty much all of my preconceived notions have been wrong. There is so much more to a person than first meets the eye. I never realized that. I used to think I had everyone figured out.

So i wonder 7 years from now... when i come across a picture of me from my sophomore of college.. what will i think? Will i still like the person I have become? Will I even recognize me? I know i still have a lot of growing left to do but will i follow the right path? Will my faith in God stay strong? Will my friends stand by me? Will i stand by them? Will i stay true to myself? Like i said so much can change in just 7 years...

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Wayyyy happy mood

I am So thankful!
Thankful for all the amazing people in my life.
I just spent the last hour driving around exton with people i just met. Weird? maybe. But they are Catholic so its alll good. My faith takes off when I am at school and i never really could figure out why. Now i know. There are so many amazing people that I have met here that it is hard not to praise God. The Newman Center has honestly become my 2nd home... I pretty much live there. I can go through the stressful day of classes and exams then take the lovely walk down the hill and its such a breath of fresh air. I camped out there last year during finals week and at one point i was in tears studying for my Anatomy final. So what did i do? I picked up my books and wandered into the chapel and studied there.... I could feel the holy spirit in calming me down. I aced that final.

Its just so refreshing to meet people who are a) into God and their faith b) willing to share it c) fun to be around d) easy to talk to e) just all around nice people . and i mean come on, who doesnt love a Catholic guy! hottest thing ever in my book.
So i honestly do not know what i would do without these people in my life. They help me become a better person and for that I am very grateful!


Tonight i met a guy who has some mental problems. He was talking to me and he was saying how he has been on campus for a 2 weeks now and has joined many clubs and no one has even tried to give him the time of day. Then he started to cry when he said, " but tonight people actually see me here and really want to be my friend... and im not used to that so i dont really always know what to do. But i want you to know that i am So happy."
How can that not touch you?
So I just want to say Thank you Lord for everything you have put in my life... especially the people who make life worth living. :-)

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

wise words

Ive always loved this... and I was just listening to it on my ipod soooo i decided to post it


Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.


But trust me on the sunscreen.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

what makes me tick

Sooooo Im in a pretty good mood tonight so i decided to make a list of all the things I love... Kinda random i know but just go with it. :-)

sunsets, praying, summer nights, fresh peaches, hot tea, family dinners, warm sweat pants, good movies, breezy days, stone harbor, puppy kisses, the ocean, friends, colored pens, new notebooks, kodak moments, karaoke, meeting new people, retreats, change, fleece, being bare foot, Catholic guys, water, lillys, crickets, country music, babies, my pup, long runs, perfect fitting jeans, pomegranate body wash, fruit salad, BBQs, bath and body works, a good book, dancing in cars, N*sync, open windows, star gazing, legit people, a clean room, Grey's Anatomy, yoga, Discovery Health channel, scrapbooks, brunch, ritas, sphenoid bone, Mother Teresa, old people, adoration, random run ins, midnight chapel runs, girls nights, Hop, sunglasses, new shoes, heart to hearts, new places, old places, bendy straws, coffee, all nighters, dew, True blood, my Ipod, tums, purell, dressing up, pretending im little again, hugs, Christmas trees, new songs, Photos, quotes, poems. purple!

and all this wouldnt be even possible without our Lord.
tada! Pretty much what makes me happy!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

the journey

So I wanted to write on this but I honestly do not have too much to say. Life is good. enough said!
Today I was walking from South campus and the sun was shining and I had my ipod in and It was just perfect. I realized at that moment all my fears about the semester were put on hold and washed away for the most part. Regardless of how this semester ends, or the next... i will still be me. I will still have the same amazing friends and the same one of a kind family. And when it comes down to it they are who make me, me. I used to think that I wasnt anything until i had a career, or a defined purpose that i would be carrying out all my life. But becoming a nurse is just adding some color to my painting of life. So am I overwhelmed with everything i have taken on this semester? Yes. But when it comes down to it, its the people and experiences that matter along the journey. Because when you finally push through and reach your destination, how rewarding will it really be if there is no one there to enjoy it with you?