So this is it. A start to yet another semester. Sometimes it feels like the time is flying by way too fast and other times it feels as if I have been in this stage of my life for way too long. Either way tomorrow will begin the hectic, structured 3 1/2 months filled with exams, late nights and deadlines. Sounds like a party, right?
Call me a dork but I actually am looking forward to getting back in the swing of things. I miss being blown away guest speakers and totally intrigued by lectures. I miss sitting in class taking notes and miss doing the reading prep for class. I miss the actual learning that is associated with school. However the stress and the pressure of it all- That, I do not miss and I am not looking forward to at all
There is always a mix of anxiety and fear of the unknown associated with the start of any school year/semester. That's kinda where I am right now. Wondering what craziness this semester will throw me through and worried that my expectations are not in line with reality.
But you really never know these things until you get into it Sooo here's to a new semester and whatever it brings with it.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
disappointing
disappointing people has always been my weakness. I have in the past gone to some pretty extreme limits to not bring about disappointment. Even the thought of disappointing someone makes me sick to my stomach. Just sitting here writing this is putting me on edge. I am not sure where this rooted from or why I have this very inconvenient quality. But its part of who I am. Yes, I obviously realize that there are times in life where disappointment is inevitable but when it comes down to it I would rather disappoint myself than another person. Insane? Ridiculous? maybe. but that's me.
Anyways recently I am realizing that as I get older, disappointment is more abundant and harder to avoid. I have found myself spinning in circles trying to dilute feelings and soften actions to avoid that gut wrenching disappointment. obviously that is not a good way to be living life.
So one of my many new years resolutions: conquer the fear of disappointment. wish me luck
Anyways recently I am realizing that as I get older, disappointment is more abundant and harder to avoid. I have found myself spinning in circles trying to dilute feelings and soften actions to avoid that gut wrenching disappointment. obviously that is not a good way to be living life.
So one of my many new years resolutions: conquer the fear of disappointment. wish me luck
Friday, January 14, 2011
my beautiful sister.
So anyone who knows me probably knows a great deal about my youngest sister. I tend to describe her ( sometimes without trying) as the black sheep of the family. She is very much into the main stream teenage stuff. Her and her friends all have the same narrow taste in style and they are all constantly listening to Q102 hits. She is pretty much the star of the soccer team, which as a sophomore that is kinda a huge deal. (and she knows it.) She spends her weekends bouncing around to various social events and she is constantly getting invited to everything. She is by far one of the "popular girls" in high school. In the past, her new years resolutions have always been very wishy washy and thought about for a full 5 minutes on new years day. Never anything big deal and they would always kinda fizzle in a few weeks.
So you can guess by complete shock when she came to me today and very nonchalantly mentioned that her new years resolution this year was to read the bible every day. My first reaction was that she was joking. But it wasn't a joke. She has been reading it every night for the past 14 days. Not only am I amazed by her discipline but also her interest. And the cool part is, she loves it. Enough said.
So you can guess by complete shock when she came to me today and very nonchalantly mentioned that her new years resolution this year was to read the bible every day. My first reaction was that she was joking. But it wasn't a joke. She has been reading it every night for the past 14 days. Not only am I amazed by her discipline but also her interest. And the cool part is, she loves it. Enough said.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
a 2 year old wise beyond his years
So today I had a very unique and precious experience with an adorable and insightful 2 year old.
I was babysitting a little boy named Mark and I was also wearing my St. Elizabeth Necklace. After stealing many glances at it he finally asked me who was on my necklace. Knowing that the family was Catholic, I briefly explained I was wearing st. Elizabeth. Thinking that this was the end of the conversation, I turned back to making his lunch. Out of the corner of my eye I see him lean back in his chair and cross his arms " That's so cool how God has all these saints running around in the world."
I couldn't help but agree with him. He was right. That was a really neat concept.
Without any prompting from me he goes on to tell me that him and God hang out sometimes when mom puts him down for a nap. He told me that God tells him to be good and listen to his mom which apparently he wasn't a huge fan of.
Mark then goes on to ask me if I hang out with God. The look on my face must have been a mix of amazement that a 2 year old would think so deeply, and awe that he could ask me that so matter a fact. Judging from my look I guess he felt the need to elaborate so he added, " Do you go see him when you leave my house?"
Not really knowing what else to say I answered simply telling him that yes sometimes I do.
Realizing how unique this conversation was, I pushed farther and asked him where else he sees God.
The look he gave me was so priceless. It was as if I just asked him the simplest question in the world. He answered, " Elise, Jack, Brian..." and he went on to name everyone in his life.
I was blown away by the wisdom that this 2 year old carried. He was so right.
I feel like as we get older we tend to complicate God and the entire idea of religion. We add rules, restrictions, and structure which, don't get me wrong, is all fine and good. but at the same time we are losing the simplicity of God.
The root of our entire belief. The basic idea of God and the fact that if we look hard enough we can find him in everyone- A concept that came so easily to mark.
His faith was stronger and more sturdy than most people I know. Part of that is the fact that he doesn't know any better. He has yet to experience all the things in life that will cause him doubt and distrust. His view of God isn't jaded and skewed.
Sometimes we are so blinded from God it takes the incredible faith two year old to point it out.
I was babysitting a little boy named Mark and I was also wearing my St. Elizabeth Necklace. After stealing many glances at it he finally asked me who was on my necklace. Knowing that the family was Catholic, I briefly explained I was wearing st. Elizabeth. Thinking that this was the end of the conversation, I turned back to making his lunch. Out of the corner of my eye I see him lean back in his chair and cross his arms " That's so cool how God has all these saints running around in the world."
I couldn't help but agree with him. He was right. That was a really neat concept.
Without any prompting from me he goes on to tell me that him and God hang out sometimes when mom puts him down for a nap. He told me that God tells him to be good and listen to his mom which apparently he wasn't a huge fan of.
Mark then goes on to ask me if I hang out with God. The look on my face must have been a mix of amazement that a 2 year old would think so deeply, and awe that he could ask me that so matter a fact. Judging from my look I guess he felt the need to elaborate so he added, " Do you go see him when you leave my house?"
Not really knowing what else to say I answered simply telling him that yes sometimes I do.
Realizing how unique this conversation was, I pushed farther and asked him where else he sees God.
The look he gave me was so priceless. It was as if I just asked him the simplest question in the world. He answered, " Elise, Jack, Brian..." and he went on to name everyone in his life.
I was blown away by the wisdom that this 2 year old carried. He was so right.
I feel like as we get older we tend to complicate God and the entire idea of religion. We add rules, restrictions, and structure which, don't get me wrong, is all fine and good. but at the same time we are losing the simplicity of God.
The root of our entire belief. The basic idea of God and the fact that if we look hard enough we can find him in everyone- A concept that came so easily to mark.
His faith was stronger and more sturdy than most people I know. Part of that is the fact that he doesn't know any better. He has yet to experience all the things in life that will cause him doubt and distrust. His view of God isn't jaded and skewed.
Sometimes we are so blinded from God it takes the incredible faith two year old to point it out.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
tick tock
timing is everything.
in cooking- leaving the cake in the oven 10 minutes longer will ruin it. In medicine- if you catch the cancer too late, your odds of survival are slim. In sports- if you kick the ball too soon, there might not be anyone to pass it to.
Timing can make or break many different aspects of life. The timing of people is the one that intrigues me the most though. If it was a little off, I may not have met some of the more amazing people in my life. The more and more I think about it the more and more i realize that if time was shifted or skewed just a bit things may very well be much different. paths wouldn't have crossed in the same perfection in which they did, or even not at all. To me that is 100% the guy upstairs. Controlling all of the moving parts in our lives. At the time we dont realize that we are part of a very complex and abstract plan. One so complex that if one little thing doesn't line up as planned, everything could be wildly different. Timing is truly everything.:-)
in cooking- leaving the cake in the oven 10 minutes longer will ruin it. In medicine- if you catch the cancer too late, your odds of survival are slim. In sports- if you kick the ball too soon, there might not be anyone to pass it to.
Timing can make or break many different aspects of life. The timing of people is the one that intrigues me the most though. If it was a little off, I may not have met some of the more amazing people in my life. The more and more I think about it the more and more i realize that if time was shifted or skewed just a bit things may very well be much different. paths wouldn't have crossed in the same perfection in which they did, or even not at all. To me that is 100% the guy upstairs. Controlling all of the moving parts in our lives. At the time we dont realize that we are part of a very complex and abstract plan. One so complex that if one little thing doesn't line up as planned, everything could be wildly different. Timing is truly everything.:-)
one of my favorite quotes
“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…”
— Elizabeth Gilbert
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
soon
life is absolutely wonderful right now. even though finals are pretty much here and i have a million and one things to do....I realize that I have a lot of amazing people in my life and so life aint so bad :-)
Anywayss Once break begins I will be blogging more... promise :-)
love you all
Anywayss Once break begins I will be blogging more... promise :-)
love you all
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