Worn out.

Have you ever needed to hear someone say something so bad that it actually aches? One sentence that could just make everything better. Of course you could just tell someone what you need to hear but that wouldn't really be the point would it? If I have to place them in someone's mouth then isn't all meaning lost anyways? Yes. So in the mean time you just silently wait and pray that someone realizes what you are so desperately waiting to hear. 

Story time

Warning: this is cutesy post.

5 years ago my stomach was in knots. This guy I met in Canada was coming to West Chester to go to an Owl city concert. I was kinda obsessed with Owl city at that time in my life but quite frankly it could have been some dried up 90's pop star and I still would have been over the moon. You see- I had a major thing for this guy and this would be the first time we would be hanging out since we got back from Canada. I was so nervous that It was going to be an awkward sort of disaster that I almost canceled but .....my stubborn roommate made that impossible.  Damn her. So after 2 nights of not sleeping and 3 mini (huge) panic attacks he arrived late Friday night ready to toy with my emotions. 

Long story short- It ended up being a wonderful and surprisingly normal night. Clearly. 

I played through that entire weekend in my head for days. Memorizing every detail and analyzing every moment. Keep in mind everyone and their brother knew that I was head over heels for him (including him) but he gave no hint to as how he felt about me. Extremely frustrating for an over emotional, high anxiety girl like myself. 

Spoiler alert: it worked out.

Seeing that weekend pop up on my Timehop today made me snicker to myself. Because of how we naturally we grew together I didn't realize how much we were both changing. It's amusing to think that the same guy who used to make me so nervous and on edge can now fill me with complete ease and overwhelming comfort. 

Life is funny and I now realize that we both found each other exactly when we were supposed to. Not a minute sooner. 

He for sure mellowed out my crazy and I like to think that I added a little spice in his life;-) 

Thanks for letting me reminisce Timehop:-)

Xoxo

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

—

C.S Lewis

I know its super cliche...

But I am pretty much obsessed with this song and the music video....

Cant get enough.




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lp-EO5I60KA

Lama

A few years back a friend recommended a book written by the Dalai Lama. The past couple days I have been rereading parts of it and finding that clarity again.

Back Again...

Well apparently everyone in my life has recently started a blog which has in some way shape or form inspired me to get back into this.

After I figured out what the heck my password was to this thing ( took way too many attempts) I read through some of my past posts.  It is honestly hilarious. On a day to day basis life moves at a fairly moderate, some would say slow, speed. So if that is the case how do these months fly by so fast?

I spent a great amount of time tonight talking with two of my dearest friends. We reminisced about all those " crazy times" we had and all those "crazy folks" we used to know. As I sat there I couldn't help but realize... when did we get so old? How did we get here? When did conversations about Prom dresses and babysitting get replaced with Roth IRAs and health insurance.

 I mean I know that we all have to grow up but its crazy how quickly it all happens.

smart guy that Maslow